God’s Voice Test

If God is really speaking today, then we should be able to recognize Him.

Not everyone who thinks God is talking to them is right. If they were, then God is crazy and a liar. And, He isn’t. How can we tell if we are hearing God? How do we know that we aren’t making stuff up, that we didn’t eat some bad sausage, or that we aren’t off our rockers?

Is there a test we can use?

1. God doesn’t contradict Himself.

Everything that’s in His Word should agree with whatever we think we are hearing. Use this simple test, “is this thought leading me to love God or people more?” If it is, you’re OK. If not, junk those thoughts.

2. God doesn’t waste words

God loves you, but He probably doesn’t care if you wear a blue or green shirt. He will talk with you often, but He is not “chatty.” He is God. He’s not a 12 year old girl.

3. God is not weird.

Jesus is the clearest picture of God that we have. He wasn’t a weirdo. He is naturally supernatural. We should be too.

4.We don’t hear perfectly

Even biblical characters didn’t always fully understand what God was saying to them. Paul was called to minister in Macedonia through a dream about a man. But, when he got there, he met a woman. Abagus prophesied that Paul would be bound and tied by the Jews, but the Romans bound him.

Practice Test

Let’s see if you learned anything. Here are a few “possible” words from God.

1. Roger, you should rob a bank for My glory.

Answer: Not God. God has golden streets. He doesn’t need you rob a bank or rip off a 711.

2. Sandra, lend that man $20. He needs it.

Answer: If you have $20, do it. If you’re wrong in giving someone $20, you’ll be OK. At least, you’re being nice. If you keep your $20 and it was God, you’ll both miss a blessing.

3. Hector, wear a bow-tie today.

Answer: If you normally wear bow-ties, go for it. If you are like the other 99.9% of the population who think bow-ties are for wierdos, don’t do it. It’s probably not God.

4. Tammy, divorce your husband and marry your brother.

Answer: This definitely isn’t God. You need prayer, and you may need counseling.

5. Jerry, tell your waiter that Jesus loves him and remind him that God will workout every troubling situation in his life.

Answer: Likely God. God loves your waiter. God can workout everything in his life. Go for it. Take a chance and share your faith.

6. Mike, tell your waitress that God loves her instead of leaving a tip. Jesus’ love is what she really needs.

Answer: Probably, Not God. You’re a cheapskate looking for a way to save a few bucks. Tell her God loves her and tip her 20%.

7. Jan, dance around your neighborhood with a large sword while shouting, “I am a knight in Jesus’ army!”

Answer: Please don’t do this. Chances are this is not God, and you will be committed.

8. Kristin, you need to be kinder to your husband

Answer: If you are married and named Kristin, it’s God.

9. Gary, leave your job and preach my word in Africa.

Answer: Maybe, God. Speak to some “godly” people you love and trust. Examine some missions agencies, make sure you aren’t in debt, and ask for confirmation. God says things like this, but make sure it’s Him. And, wait for the right timing. Don’t try to go preaching around Africa if you have unfinished business or obligations. Be a person of integrity. But, don’t be afraid to go for it either.

10. I should share this post with my friends

Answer: Maybe God. Go for it and see what happens. Some people need to hear this


About Chris M.

Just a guy who loves God, his family, and others.

Posted on July 19, 2011, in Church Stuff, Life, Satire. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Here’s another test:

    Does your flesh protest what you hear? Might be God.

    A more important question for me right now though is, “Do I want to hear God”?
    Maybe, maybe not. Trying not to fight, but honestly life has gotten harder ever since God took notice of me.

    Speak to people you trust…..??? Really?

    • Yea…probably should have said “godly” people you trust. …see what they say…get some input…”in a multitude of counselors there is safety”…life is a team sport, not a solo endeavor.

  2. In a multitude of counselors there are only more people laughing at you. “Godly” people preach not to lie, to speak only the truth, then they invade your privacy and deceive you in many ways. You become crazy, not because you are, but you because you were foolish enough believe that the “godly” ones were truly interested in your well being. Godly people give God a bad name.

    • Jesus was godly. Did He give God a bad name? I’m definitely trying to argue with you.

      Some people claim to be godly when they are actually butt-heads. But, there are still good and godly people on this planet. Even if, they may be far and few between. We can’t let the bad people keep us from the good. Thanks for the comments, and have a great rest of your day!!!

  3. What if God asked me to give 1000.00 to a stranger?

  4. this post is definitely an answer to prayer! thank you.

    loved the test. definitely sharing this.

    (found you through bryan allain’s blog)

  1. Pingback: Reads of the week – 2011 – 28 « Hope In Love

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