Is Charlie Sheen Jesus?

Charlie Sheen is saying some very “out-there” things. Is he Jesus?

Charlie
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.” – to 20/20
Jesus
Jesus said he was the Light of the World who came to show people how to be others-centered. He did say that when you love it will be like rivers of water that bring refreshing to others, but He mentioned nothing about our faces melting off.
Charlie
“The nights I don’t sleep it’s because there’s a higher calling telling me to stand guard.” – to Howard Stern
Jesus
Jesus stayed up all night once in a while too, but he was praying for others not fighting off giant cockroaches who were trying to steal his stash.
Charlie
“I healed in like two days.” – to Howard Stern
Jesus
It took Jesus three days, but He was dead-not addicted to crack, coke and porn stars.
Charlie
“I’m different. I have a different heart. I have a different type of blood.”
 Jesus
Jesus said that too, and He proved it. A million men sleep with hookers and do coke everyday. I’m not really convinced Charlie is different yet.
Charlie
“We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.”
Jesus
Jesus wasn’t worried about winning. He lost His life to make others winners. He encourages us to do the same.
Charlie
“It’s a metaphor for having absolute rocket fuel in my veins. When it comes to getting focused and delivering things in a way…” – to Howard Stern
Jesus
Jesus said His blood was life, and would bring us back to God.  He delivered on that one.
Charlie
“What’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards and all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.” – to 20/20
 Jesus
Jesus did go to a few parties, but He was loved because He loved, healed, and cared for others when one else could.
Charlie
“The last time I took drugs I probably took more that anyone could survive. I was banging seven gram rocks because that’s how I roll, I have one speed, go. I have a different constitution, a different brain, a different heart. I got tiger blood man.” – to 20/20
Jesus
Jesus was beaten, stabbed, and abused more than His body could take. He willingly laid down His life for us all.
Charlie
“Dying is for fools. I’m proud of what I created. I exposed people to magic. I exposed people to things they would never see in their normal lives.”
Jesus
Jesus thought that dying to our selfish desires was the key to seeing supernatural things take place in our lives. But, what does He know?
 FINDINGS:
Charlie Sheen is not Jesus. Charlie cares about Charlie and a few people who are close to him, and Jesus loves everyone. Case closed. But, I like Charlie Sheen. He is very funny.

I’m not trying to judge him. We could all be him. I am just showing the ridiculousness of our own thinking. We all make dumb mistakes. He, unfortunately, choose to make his in public. But, I am praying for him and hope to see him a little more stable for his family’s sake.

Please Pray for this guy…He is losing it.

quotes from Examiner.com

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About Chris M.

Just a guy who loves God, his family, and others.

Posted on March 2, 2011, in Life, Pop Culture, Satire. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. >HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHA CHARLIE SHEEN JESUS LOL.

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