>5 Ways to Fail @ Life in 2011


5. Don’t Try

Why try anything? Good things come to people who do nothing. Watch TV all day, sleep-in, and wait for “it” to happen. Don’t work towards anything. Hard work is for Lame-O’s and Losers. Just wish upon a star, and all those great and amazing dreams you have will come true.

4. Don’t Plan

Do you think someone actually planned out the pyramids? No way. A bunch of people just started cutting and placing stones and bam–a pyramid. You can’t get that kind of precision with planning. Do you think professional sports teams have a game plan? Never, the best teams show up and play from instinct letting their natural talent run free. Always fly by the seat of your pants.

3. Give Up

If things get hard, stop doing them. Life is supposed to be easy. It only took Edison 3 trys to make the light bulb. Rome was built in a day. Don Shula’s 347 wins, the most in NFL history, came with no losses and only 1 tie. The day he lost, he quit coaching. Following through causes people to succeed, stay away from it at all costs. Lay down and die.

2. Fly Solo

Do life alone. Don’t let the people who care about you drag you down.  Batman, Ringo Star, Siskel, and Ernie are all people who could have been great had they not been hindered by Robin, The Beatles, Ebert, and Bert. You can do this. You don’t need anyone. Behind every great man is the wife and kids he left. If you work with others, you won’t get all the credit. Great people do things alone. Bask in your own glory.

1. Ignore Jesus

Do you really need a relationship with the Creator of the universe? I think not. You have to do this on your own. Don’t rely on the One who will never stop loving you or ever let you down. You don’t need that kind of reassurance. Remove your safety net. If the Bible holds the directions we need for life and Jesus is picture of what we should be, then you need to jump right into life without reading the directions or looking at the picture. You can figure it out by yourself. 

Every time your soul is softened by His beauty and grace, man-up and harden that heart. Don’t let Him change you into a better person. You are already that awesome.

Honorable Mention

6. Over-commit

If you can’t do one thing well, do 12 poorly.


About Chris M.

Just a guy who loves God, his family, and others.

Posted on December 17, 2010, in Devotions, Life, Satire. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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